I have a friend who has always introduced his lovely wife, Anni, as “his first wife”. It’s cute. It’s insinuating. And, if he didn’t love her with all of his heart, it would be a crime. (By the way, I would venture to say that Anni loves him with all of her heart- most of the time 🙂 ).
But, it’s a phenomenon worth noting. One that is disturbing. That most entrepreneurs, once successful, shed their spouses. Like worn clothing. (I must admit to being among this group.) Whether it’s because life with an entrepreneur is difficult (and it is) or that the entrepreneur wants a new image to match his/her current status is immaterial.
Let’s get real. We entrepreneurs are a difficult bunch. We are typically married to our companies. Which means our spouses are ‘the other woman’ or ‘the other man’. We take risks, which may scare the bejesus out of our spouses. We don’t take vacations- or if we do, we still bring out work with us. (It’s why I actually went to Molokai for vacation, because back then there was no internet and no phone service on the island. I tried…)
And, then you have the other side of the coin. When the entrepreneur’s business is failing- or heaven forbid- filing for bankruptcy. That typically means the family finances go down, too. And, also, almost always eventually leads to the divorce of the entrepreneur.
So, it’s not surprising when spouses are not exactly in the best of mental attitudes. They know these facts, too. But, when a spouse is supportive, it’s a match made in heaven. The entrepreneur can devote those hours to making the venture a success- and the spouse helps smooth things out at home, in social events. Which helps the entrepreneur further garner success.
(Just so you know, that was NOT my spouse. It was, “Don’t worry- you’ll fail and go back to teaching”. And, when there were (thankfully, only minor) setbacks, it was a bunch of “I told you so’s”.)
Which explains why my friend always introduces Anni as his first wife. Not to denigrate her. But, to honor her. She’s his first- and only- wife. One that has stood by him – thick and thin- and been as instrumental (or more) in every success he had…
To Anni! (and every other Anni or Sammy in the world…)
Happily single after my widow-hood thank you much. I may be boldly going nowhere but I am heading there under my own steam. Bless the spouse of any one trying to make their own way in the world…it isn’t an easy thing.
Lisa Brandel recently posted..Midnight Angel by Lisa Brandel
Lisa…
Did you ever consider how much more fuel to the fire you could place to boil that water for steam if you had a partner?
(Just throwing you for a loop… or not…)
Roy
Really? You think that is OK? I think it is like most jokes-half of a hidden not so funny truth. You need to tell him to quit putting down his wife before she becomes his ex-wife. And bless her if she puts up with such nonsense. RRRRAAAAARRRR!
Ann Mullen recently posted..Seniors Helping Seniors: Making a Difference Through Meals on Wheels
it sounds different that it looks, Ann. Trust me, the first time I heard this (some 30+ y ago), I was taken aback- more than once. But, I’ve seen how it’s taken and given.
Roy
Hi Roy,
Stopping over from Comment Circle. This is sweet. I am on my second marriage, but certainly learned in that process to be grateful for someone sticking with me through all my growth and change. Life can be tricky sometimes and it is great to have someone you can rely on by your side.
Amy Putkonen recently posted..The Long Road to Simplicity
Thanks for the visit, Amy.
And, yes, you are absolutely correct that a supportive spouse (and family) helps the entrepreneur achieve. Thanks for amplifying the report.
Roy
Roy,,
There is a radio broadcaster here called Terry Wogan – he has always refered to his wife as ‘the present Mrs Wogan’ – the same joke.
It usually helps when a spouse is on the same wavelength. Didn’t help me much, because my had independent thought same as me, which was great until she thought she wanted to be independent of me! (not that she ever was dependent on me!)
Ha!
Cheers, Gordon
The Great Gordino recently posted..The Paralympics – The Olympics Plus Added Wow?
Gordon:
I agree that the spouse needs to be in on “the joke”. (To be honest, I am not sure i could be the joker, in any event.)
While the process of becoming independent is wrenching, it’s entirely probable that your independent state could be a more advantageous one for you.
Roy
Hi Roy!
i am not married.so i don’t know about this matter.but i heard that couples make in heaven.in my view we should never secret with his/her spouse because spouse support give you the power to do something. should be confidence for each other.i like it.
anshul recently posted..Online Banking Software
I think you may be on to something there, Anshul. (I am not married, either.)
Congratulations to them! That is cute and carries much meaning!
Carolina HeartStrings recently posted..BLUEBERRY – CREAM CHEESE “DUMP” CAKE
I’m with you on that one, Alessa!
I didnt like the joke – because it assumes there will be a second wife – until you mentioned they had been married 30 years. In which case its almost a boast, and I like it very much.
Anabelle:
You could tell how my reaction the first time or two I heard it, as well…
And, now some two decades later, it really finally sounds like the joke I am sure it was intended.