It’s summer time here. Where we drive more, go to the beach, vacation, and do things we don’t normally do. Which means we put ourselves at risk. And, I’ve asked you to prepare a living will. These documents were first created in the 60’s, but the Quinlan case (the one where the woman lasted in a vegetative state [almost] forever) drove the case home for a lot of folks.
But, that may not be enough. Even though about ¼ of us have done so, the documents we prepare may be just a little too simplistic. Technology is moving that quickly. (Read this post for some ideas.)
And, it’s driving the needs for new and better living wills. It’s driving the need to discuss these unpleasant thoughts with our loved ones, with the ones to whom we’ve left the terrible task of attempting to follow our wishes- which we may have failed to express to them. And, between these issues and the fact that harvesting organs is now being done differently that when I first signed on, I’ve chosen to designate a health-care agent.
We can’t expect our health care agents- or our loved ones- to know what it means when we say “pull the plug if we can’t have a meaningful quality of life”. We each have different definitions of that concept- and there is no universal definition upon which someone can rely. We really need to spell out which cognitive decline we can accept.
A good way to conceive of this situation is to examine the “Five Wishes” concept. It’s not free- but it’s well worth the nominal fee ($5) that it costs to answer the questions. The first two are actually legal documents (who is the healthcare agent, and what kinds of medical treatments will be acceptable). The others address comfort of care, where to be treated and who/how does so, and final wishes for one’s loved ones.
Of course, you can provide your designated health care agent simple instructions- if you doubt, don’t treat me is about as simple as it gets. But, I still vote for the document- it works in every state.
Long before either of my parents (Dad never did) had a living will, health care power of attorney, and all the documents I think you need, I had it! After Dad’s passing I made sure Mom had it too. It isn’t like we hadn’t had all those tough conversations we all knew how we felt about things, but feeling and having the proof of that are two different things. I’m glad you post on this subject and have in the past. It isn’t the most pleasant of topics but I can testify that less pleasant than that is not having them when you need them. The only problem I have now is that I am literally only one person away from not having someone to be an advocate for me. I’m going to check out the five wishes too, I don’t know if you can be too prepared! Thank you Roy!
Lisa Brandel recently posted..The Painted Lady by Lisa Brandel
Touche, mon artiste!
You voiced the issues perfectly.
This is such an important issue. You opened my eyes to some things. We have talked about these issues but we have nothing written down. We will work on that. Thanks for a great article.
shawn recently posted..The Responsibilities of Being a Wife
Each state has their own regs, Shawn. But, a written document works wonders- in the emergency room and beyond.
Thanks for taking the advice.
Roy
I’ve worked in the legal field, mostly criminal law, but for a brief time I worked in family law where we handled all sorts of cases. Many of these cases involved battles over DNR and the absence of a living will. It’s really sad to watch families battle it out over whether to “pull the plug” on a comatose person who virtually has no hope of living a normal life if they would wake up.
This is why it’s important to have things like a living will, and let your loved ones know where they are just in case it is ever needed.
Angie Hottentots-Laurel recently posted..6 Songs That Will Make You Get Up and Move
Angie:
Thanks for adding those facts. It is always better to hear such advice (the kind we become ostrich-like, when the discussion is started) from a multitude of voices.
I serve as CFO for a family law firm (in one of our CXO efforts), and have lived through the death of my parents, who required such considerations. I also serve and have served as Trustee for several individuals who required decisions to be made on their behalf- and was able to have discussed the choices with them upon my retainer.
We, too, should do this now- for our sakes and our families’ sake.
Great advice, Roy. Can I repost this for our Sequoia Senior Solutions blog? You get full credit, of course.–Annie
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Sure, Ann. I would be honored to have it cross-posted.
Roy