There is a four letter word that we never want to say. O.K., your mind wandered- WRONG! The correct answer is “fear”.
Fear is what stops us from achieving our dream. Fear is what our potential clients and customers feel- and makes them hesitate from concluding deals with us.
We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of making a mistake. We are afraid of not appearing perfect. (Notice, I did not say being perfect- that will NEVER happen.)
There is a tradition in my religion that one has to request forgiveness three times; if one is rejected thrice, then the Supreme Being forgives you and considers the other at fault (a new fault, but for someone else). We also know that we need to hear something three times before we can be reasonably certain we will have learned this new piece of information.
Given these facts, how can we possibly give up before we’ve tried something at least three times? Is it because we fear rejection or we fear that someone will feel pressured by our request? (One sales trainer (Tom Hopkins) believes the number of times we should try to reach out to a new customer should be 7!)
Moreover, not only are we afraid, but our prospects are afraid. They don’t want to make a mistake either. Will we not deliver as promised? Could they be found at fault by others for having taken this action? In other words, can they trust their own judgments?
It turns out the only way you can conquer our fears is to act in spite of it. And, just like you have these fears, your prospects have these fears, as do I. I had parents who always promised I would never be good enough. I had a wife who always rooted for my competitors. We have to proceed in spite of that- and in spite of the voices screaming in our heads that things can go wrong. We have to plan to do things right and follow up. We have to demonstrate we and our product/service are trustworthy. We can and will deliver what our customers/clients need at the price they want to pay.
Let me share one of my favorite quotes (one of my eMail signatures)…
It takes courage to overtake fear; fear is an emotion appropriate to perceived risk. Therefore, to exhibit courage, one must both perceive a risk AND proceed in spite of same.
Excellent post, Roy, and a great title! In my experience, the fear and the thoughts that seem so overwhelming and awful always end up to be much less significant once I actually take the action to do the thing I’m afraid of. We can give so much power to our fear and allow it to hold us back . . . and it builds and builds and can become crippling. We can also totally deflate it by acting in spite of it. I totally agree with you, Roy.
Leanne Chesser recently posted..How to Overcome Your Fear of Making Videos
Your experience helps others, Leanne. I am so glad you shared it- it makes the entire message (yours, mine, and others) hit the bullseye! Let’s feed our strengths. We’ll all grow better and stronger. Our team members will have the strengths where we don’t, so in total, we can meet all the challenges.
Thanks for your comments.
Roy
I agree, Roy. Fear is what holds us back but when you act in spite of that, it’s amazing what can happen. For me, it’s not making mistakes. I want it to be perfect when it’s done. I’ve realized now that rarely happens and it’s more important to do it and get it out there. Thanks for this post Roy!
Kristen Robinson recently posted..What! It Takes Time to Build A Relationship
Kristen, great additions. And, you know who are the ones most afraid of not being found perfect- the ones who do the best jobs, generally. They are so used to “getting it done”, it always nags at the fringes that we could miss the mark. The answer is- do it- fix it- make it better- make it great!
Thanks for dropping in.
Roy
I have an “f” word for you…Fabulous. Yes, fear is such a common experience and you’ve created some great awareness about how it invades and applying courage to step through it anyway. Great post!
Tambre Leighn/coaching by tambre recently posted..After & Before Blog @ Worry- Worry- Worry
Thanks, Tambre, for “sounding the drum”. Alerting the reader that fear is only an emotion to stop us from achieving our goals. We are here- NOW- to make a difference.
There are no guarantees about tomorrow.
Thanks for your comments.
Roy
Fear is a powerful emotion. It can motivate us or it can cause people to shut down competely. Usually it is somewhere in the middle that we fall. It’s important not to just stop at realizing we are afraid of not getting things done perfectly but to go beyond that and look for the reasons we feel that way.
To add to your quotes Roy
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” ~Mark Twain
Thanks for the valuable additions, Bonnie. And, sometimes, in spite of the reasons that cause us to be trepidatious, we still must act- to insure that our goals are met.
We can’t leave the hard steps for someone else. We can only hope others will join us- either behind to add to our army of change, or along side us, doing similar tasks to achieve the same goals.
Roy
I tend to agree with your sales trainer. Fall down seven, get up eight! Fear is the dominating force controls many. It can be fear of success or fear of failure. Take your pick, it still freezes the person into inaction. And, if that title doesn’t bring in a ton of traffic, I will be surprised! LOL
Martha Giffen recently posted..Remember Your First Time
Thanks for dropping in Martha. And, for sounding the alarm, that 8 is an even better number than 7.
Now, if we could only get those 8 days a week, to insure that we can achieve what we want…
Roy
FEAR – false expectations appearing real.
Our mind is powerful because is creates the reality we expect to see and learns from the past.
Love the power of three here – good post Roy
Wow, Roberta! That was great! Thanks so much for helping nail the tail to the target!
Thanks, really, for your comments!
Roy
Hi Roy,
I honestly believe you are sent to motivate me when I have so much self-doubt. Your words were what motivated me to keep on going with my opt-in and just this week, I was going to write a post on the fear of thinking big.
I’ve had some ideas the past couple of days but so much fear came up from going ahead with them. Why? I really have to sit down and see what is the fear. Courage is not the absence of fear but to proceed even with the presence of fear.
Such a lovely post and I should get a quote from you everyday to keep me moving forward.
My sincerest thanks!
Diana
Diana Simon recently posted..Get Your Blog Out There!
Diana:
That’s why we read each other’s posts. To serve as a mirror, a reflection, a goad, or affirmation! No man (or woman) is an island- and we all must journey to our destination. Traveling, knowing others seek a similar destination, makes the journey more enjoyable.
Thanks for embellishing my trip.
Roy
Many a bad decision was made from fear and exhaustion!
Justice Calo Reign recently posted..Nothing But Love Fridays NBL
Yet, many a great decision was made in spite of fear- because the fact is that worrying about what might be does not solve the problem!
Thanks for your comment, Mr. JCR!
Roy
Great title and very inspiring post, Roy. I like the motto ~ “Do it afraid”.
I have had to struggle with fear my entire life. I have faith in God ~ That makes all the difference in the world.
I have had to deal with many traumatic events. I was almost killed in a head-on crash with a drunk driver, I was home alone when my house filled up with over 2 feet of water during Tropical Storm Allison, my dogs knocked me down and I broke my femur…but I have come through the storms with the help of God. What do I have to fear?
Janette Fuller recently posted..Monochromatic Blues
Janette:
I understand completely. I have been hit by cars (on bikes, on foot, in a car). I have been in airplane “mishaps” (oh, i LOVE that word). I think those (among many other “little” escapades are why I learned to act as if. We don’t know when or if tomorrow will change our destiny. Enjoy our travels today. Leave our mark. Make the world the best we can. And, hold our heads up high.
Join me- or flank me- but take the journey.
Thanks for your comments.
roy
Couldnt agree more Roy..inspring reminder.
There are many people I know who live in a fear and negative mentality. They are stuck in their bubble and never will pop it and break free. They allow their fear to keep them small and constrained.
I face fear most days in some form or another and occasionally am completely terrified by my own resistance to popping my bubble. I press on but new bubbles keep appearing. In pressing on though little smiley faces appear and start dancing in my life.
Maureen Hunter recently posted..I’ve Been Stugged!
Maureen:
Sometimes, we fear the bubble of uncertainty. Sometimes, we fear the bubble of success that surrounds our action.
The trick is to coalesce all the bubbles together, form micelles, and vanquish all our worries. Just keep working onto the completion of our goals.
Thanks for your comments.
Roy
Tip of the hat and two thumbs up on this one, Roy!
From what you’ve shared, looks as though fear is a two-way street. Frankly, I’d like to boot it down some dark alley! 🙂
Melanie Kissell @SoloMompreneur recently posted..We Blog Better And Maybe You Blog Best
Melanie- the only problem with booting it down a dark alley is that it will be ready for the next suspect walking down that road.
We need to beat it back into the light, where we can see it for what it is- just our conscience telling us we may not be as good as we hope. But, if we keep fighting the good fight, we really are better than that, still.
Roy
There is also the fear of success. I have always been fearless in taking action, jumping in, moving forward … but then I realized my fear was actually meeting my goals and having success. Once I realized this, the very next year I tripled my sales and income. It was like a huge weight was lifted and I could see there is nothing that can hold us back.
Excellent post Roy and really appreciate your insight and advice. Fear will either challenge you to take that chance, just do it and jump in …. or it will eat you up and put the brakes on your dreams and what you want to accomplish.
Lynn Brown recently posted..Top 3 Secrets to Affiliate Cash Machine Explosion
Thank you so much for your amplification, Lynn. I am so glad the other readers get an opportunity to read and digest the comments, to learn as much as possible about the subject.
Forget fear of flying- let’s overcome fear of doing!
Roy
Hey Roy,
The title did get me all interested!
When dealing with patients with failure or fear of failure we kept discussing whether it was fear of failure or feelings of insecurity which prevents us from taking the first step. Many feel inadequate and “believe” that they are not good enough at doing it, so we felt it was rooted in feelings of insecurity that prevented them from taking the first step. And then if failure did occur then it was the fear of failure that prevented them from trying again.
The three times – In Muslims, while getting married, our “vows” are to be accepted three times. As for trying three times, it makes sense…think three times before you say yes to the guy! 🙂
Hajra recently posted..RENTING TROUBLE!
So, my idea was perfect, Hajra. The idea was to engage and challenge the reader’s beliefs.
And, the magic number of 3…
Thanks for your comments, thank you for dropping in, and thank you for your amplifications of the theme!
Roy
So true, Roy! I love the idea of “acting in spite of our fears.” I’ve hit that point more than a few times in my life. The fear is so overwhelming, but I also know how important it is to get past the fear, so I hold my breath and jump in.
I also love how you mentioned to Kristen that we can still fix it if need be. That’s what helps make it easier to make the jump. All is not lost if things don’t turn out the way we expected!
Samantha Bangayan recently posted..Have You Fascinated Someone Today
Thanks for your comments, Samantha.
Every once in a while, we have to open the doors to the airplane and take that leap. We have to believe that our training will insure that we have a joyous journey and will reach our destination.
Tally ho!
R
What a wonderful post! So true on so many levels. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, so much, Tami. For the comment AND the visit.