I’ve written about family law before. You know- the fancy term for divorce law. I not only have experienced divorce (ok, I was one of the adults- I caused the divorce; my children experienced it), but I have served as the financial manager for a family law practice for more than a few years. This is a big business- there are about 800,000 divorces filed annually in the US (compared to the 2 million marriages begun).
Other than the death of a loved one, divorce is among the most stressful encounters we potentially face. While divorce has been around for millennia, there have been changes in interpretation. Like, the fact that alimony will no longer be a life-long entitlement. Like, men can get custody of their children in divorce (thankfully). Where failure to pay child support is not immediately considered to be the fault of the father (yes, courts have published names of dads who were the ones NOT receiving their due child support as the recalcitrant ones). And, now even technology is being applied to make the process of divorce less painful. (I am not sure the process will ever be simpler.)
Michelle Crosby (divorce lawyer for about 15 years) and Jeff Reynolds (digital technology professional) are employing the technology they developed for their new firm, Wevorce, which is one of the “graduate” Y Combinator projects.
The Y Combinator started in 2005, as a start-up funding concept. A small amount of seed money is provided a fair number of start-ups (say 50 or so), whose teams move to Silicon Valley and spend a quarter of the year developing their system and company, so as to make their pitch to potential investors. These pitches are made on “Demo Day”, where large number of investors are invited (and do attend). (I had the opportunity to be involved in a similar process in the late 70s’ and early 80s, where a select group of creative and technically adept people underwent training to work together on a few projects. It’s a phenomenal process.)
Wevorce is now ready to hit the ground running. Based upon their research, they have discerned that there are some 18 divorce family archetypes. And, given those parameters, a step-by-step process is offered the “participants”. Financial, legal, and emotional components are addressed- including the all-important co-parenting situations.
There is not a large track-record yet, because only about 100 or so families have been involved- and they are only operating in 5 states. But, given that one of the primary model constituents is co-parenting, it is a pretty pro-family process. One of the other key concepts behind the Wevorce process is recognizing that most families have a money-manager and a non-money manager. That division is not considered as part of the normal divorce-court scenarios. The archetype system also recognizes that the parties process information differently- men typically make lists (yes, I did) and women employ indirect processes and are positive that their soon-to-be ex-spouses have no clue what they think or want; providing them a to-do list is most useful.
But, if the parties involved are desperate to fight it out (and, trust me, there are many of these types out there), they can resort to the tried-and-true divorce court system that currently obtains. That means the process costs big bucks- $ 25K, $ 40K, even $450K – as ridiculous as that sounds- are possible. The Wevorce system is designed to range in costs from $ 3500 to $ 15000, with the average costs expected to come in around $ 7500. (This is about the same cost range for the collaborative divorce processes, another new concept in the divorce system.)
Let’s hope it works- for most of us.
Let’s hope most of us don’t need it.
Amen. Selah!
I’m with you, Marie.
I’ve always thought getting married should be pricey and divorce should be free. That said, this is pretty cool for those who have need.
Lisa recently posted..Southwestern Fusion by Lisa Brandel
Getting married is pricey- but the tab comes too late to recognize it, Lisa…
But, I like your method of thinking!
That would be “un-family” law, right?
David Leonhardt recently posted..Duct tape – a frugal parent’s best friend
Yup! That’s exactly why I find the euphemistic “family law” so problematic, David.
I was such a coward (and maybe not a little frightened) so I just left. I wish I could have done things differently, but I still don’t see how that could have happened. I do like this infographic and the ideas behind it. I would be interested in knowing about the archetypes. Good article.
Ann Mullen recently posted..Breaking News: Drug to Boost Brain Synapses Lost in Alzheimer’s
Wow. Leaving… I am not sure that is the coward’s way out- but, I can bet you were not the primary breadwinner or you would have found yourself the subject of a series of financial penalties, Ann.
Seems like a lot of effort to spend on such an unpleasant topic. I appreciate you sharing this as it was an interesting read, but I can’t help but think what would happen if this same energy were put toward preventing divorce. I know, easier said than done, but it sounds good.
Bill Gelwick recently posted..Can’t Keep up? 5 Ways to Simplify Your Infopreneurial Business
That’s a bit naive, Bill.
Many folks actually try to go to mediation before divorce. But, often (and I speak from both personal and professional experience), it’s only one of the parties that wants to resolve the issues.
I think- if you really believe in fairy tales- that counseling folks before they even get married (what often happens is the the parties decide to find a different matrimonial partner, when the church, synagogue, or cleric imposes this condition)- might have more merit.
Let’s hope it does! It certainly makes sense of an often senseless process!
Caro Ness recently posted..The Chestnut Tree
I’m with you, Caro! Senseless AND expensive.
My divorce was pretty cheap (less then 1K) but the custody issues costs that arose 6 years later when he remarried were huge. Wonder if they have a plan for arbitration at later dates?
I doubt it, Alessa.
You just brought up one of the “undersides” of divorce. Child custody is an itme that is continually revisited- Especially as the child(ren) age(s) and can participate in those decisions..
This sounds so sensible. A good approach to an unfortunate situation.
Carol Tomany recently posted..Six Billion Photos….
From your mouth, Carol, to the various parties’ ears…
Well, trying to make divorces more civilised is a good thing, right? It is a good initiative, and I wish that my parents would have gone through such a process instead of fighting like mad (after twenty years, they are still not talking to each other). In short, to me the emotional cost was (and still is) far worse than the material cost. Anything that can help IS a major progress.
MuMuGB recently posted..Killjoy
Well, Muriel…
I am not sure we can “make” divorces civil. It requires both parties to minimize the disruptions in their lives and determine that “getting even” is not part of the process. Given that, making the process less traumatic is the right way to go…
Divorce- Technology Style – I’ve written about family law before. You know- the fancy term for divorce law. … http://t.co/kNHm1dZw01
Interesting – I think more and more divorces are veering to the amicable side, partly because more divorces are due to an acceptance of growing apart rather than hate or specific incident triggers. Always a stressful thing, so any way to make it less so is to be welcomed.
The Great Gordino recently posted..Your Past Choices Don’t Have To Be Your Future Choices!
I sure do hope you are right, Gordon.
But, from my association with a “family law” practice, it does not quite seem so…
I bet you’ve seen the full on nasty stuff then!
I can only relate to my own divorce – amicable – phew! 😉
The Great Gordino recently posted..The New You And The Old You Might Not Be As Far Apart As You Think!
Yes, and not mine, either. Glad to see yours was!