What is happy?  Well, when I am with my kids, you can bet that I know exactly why that is.  But, when they leave (or I leave their abodes), does that mean I’m not happy?

Another example.  When we’ve finished the development of those new products, you can bet I’m elated.  But, it doesn’t mean that I’m not happy when we’re still working on that design.  (On the other hand, you can bet that I am frustrated when it looks like we’ve reached a dead end in our development.)

Many folks think that when they make their first million (or first 100 million), they will be happy.  Except most of them find that they are not.  (Unless that “success indicator” is linked to something a little more profound.)  Oh, sure, if we are destitute, having a certain amount of money is critical to cement or augment our happiness. But, once a certain point is reached, getting more money in our bank, acquiring more “toys”, doesn’t lead to more happiness.   And, that certain point is a pretty low bar- significantly below $ 100K.  (A lot of data indicates that $ 50K to $ 75K is the defining financial threshold.  After all, once we get to that level we thought would bring happiness, we are off running towards a higher level, still.)

You can see by now that it’s our perspective that sets our happiness levels, not our circumstances.   Psychologists tell us that our happiness set-point is a function of our personality.  And a great deal of our personality traits are inherited.  (Some say that about ½ of our traits are inherited.)  Which means that something on the order of 50% of our happiness is outside of our personal control. But, it also means that about 50% of our happiness is totally under own control- and that means our relationships, our activities, our career, maybe even our health.

I learned this song when I first attended college for a semester (when I was the ripe old age of 8).  Amazingly, this tune also became the theme song for my beloved Phillies- since 1993- thanks to Harry Kalas (the “HK” on Phillies uniforms) and Chase Utley.

Too many folks say they have goals.  (I am not going to name which of my clients fall into this category.)  But, here’s a basic fact.  If we aren’t actively working on those goals, they are only dreams.  And, having dreams is great- but pursuing your goals (even if we don’t achieve them all) is how we can be more happy than not.  When we pursue our goals, we feel more satisfied with our lives, we feel more positive about ourselves.  Of course, we are!  We are effecting the changes we need to achieve what we want.  How could we not be happy?

(A trick.  Don’t compare your current situation to where you hope to be when your goal is achieved.  Compare yourself to how you were a week ago.  This breaks those changes into manageable chunks and makes us recognize the improvements.  Which makes us happy we’ve achieved them.)

Another key consideration is to do our best as we do what we do.  When we follow our strengths, we feel happier.  But, that doesn’t mean we can avoid doing things we don’t love doing.  (Unless we own a large enough company where we can delegate those activities to someone else.  But, in reality, all of us could probably hire virtual assistants and outsource those tasks.)

Here’s another way we can feel more happy more often.  Be thankful.  Thank your spouse for being there.  Make sure your staff knows you appreciate their efforts.

What?  You can’t find things for which you can be thankful?  Then, start keeping a list of things that worked out for you each day.  So, you can be thankful for them when you review your efforts at the end of the day.

(It’s been my practice t0 pray each morning and night for so many decades.  And, while I say many formulaic prayers, I always include things for which I am thankful; especially before I go to sleep or take a nap.)

Having friends is also critical.  No, this doesn’t mean a great business network- but that helps, too.  When we have good friends (and we’ve chosen them carefully), it’s akin to amassing more cash in our bank accounts.  We have “capital” we can spend when we need it.

Which brings up “tikun olum” or “upworthiness”.  When we help others achieve, when we give of ourselves, data shows that doing so is at least as beneficial to ourselves as it is for the recipients.  (Think about this- receiving a gift or help is not something under our control.  We can’t make folks help us.  But, we can control our offering of help or assistance to another human being.)

Finally, when you sum up these items, it is easy to realize we are talking about living our lives our way.  Which means that we won’t be thinking what our lives would have been like if we did ABC as we approach the end of our senior years.  Or, if we – G-D Forbid- develop a fatal illness, we won’t regret the things we hadn’t done and can no longer do.    After my major accidents- which, thankfully, I survived (obviously)- I recognized that seeing and speaking to the folks who matter to me, doing what I love, spending time doing things other than work, are the things that make my life great.

You don’t want to have an airplane wreck or a car wreck or develop a life-threatening illness to discern those reasons to change your aspect.

So, get rid of that frown and exercise the ways to turn it upside down.