The best laid plans of mice and men |

So, it’s the day after Easter and now Chol Hamoed Pesach (the intermediate days, where work is permitted). “So what?”, you say.

I’m guessing you- like me- spent the time with friends and family. In my case, it was the Pesach Seder, a 15 step process where we re-enact and re-evaluate our release from Mitzrayim to freedom. (One on Friday night and another on Saturday night.) Mitzrayim is normally translated as “Egypt”… but it also means ‘narrow straits’. Where we are squeezed and cajoled and forced to hold on to those things we keep dear- even as the world around us is shattering, the world is enslaving us, making our lives difficult.

I had great plans. My children- all of them- were arriving by Friday to help celebrate Pesach. My friends- the ones that have become my pseudo-family during my adult years, one might say my exile from my home territory of New York (I’ve been gone for more than 4 decades now)- were all joining in this great celebration of reading, discussing, and, of course, consuming copious quantities of food. (There’s an old joke to describe each of the Jewish Holidays- one that describes every one but one: Hashem helped us. Hashem is great. Let’s eat.)

So, like in business, I had a plan. How I would empty the kitchen of everyday things. How I would clean the cabinets, walls, floors, sinks, dishwasher, oven, and fridge for the non-compromising rules of “Kosher for Passover”. (Not a drop of chametz- everyday things that contact food or are actually foodstuffs- may remain- or be in sight.) What we were going to add to the traditional readings and prayers, what foods and desserts we would enjoy, and who would do what. It was akin to a business plan. What were the tools, what was the timeline, and what were the desired results.

Except, another Jewish joke ensued. “Man plans, Hashem laughs”. Around 2:30 Friday afternoon, just when the food preparation (O.K., the prime ribs had already been defrosting and were coated with papaya. BTW, that’s an old chemical engineering trick- papaya not only flavors the meat- but the papain softens the meat enough that diners can enjoy their beef with a butter knife!) was to begin… the sink backs up. That meant all the glassware that had been soaked for three days had not been washed. And, food preparation would be compromised.

So, I did the logical thing. I called the plumber. Who announced that due to Good Friday and Easter they would be glad to come Tuesday. Tuesday????? I called another and another. Same answer. So, I called my good friend, Andy. Who came over and contorted his body trying to snake the line. We bought a new snake, with more power and more coil length. Hours later- no change. (We even tried changing the sink disposal unit.) Thank you, Andy, for your yeoman efforts- and your pain.

This is why you have a business plan. Because things can – and do- go wrong. It’s that mental preparation that makes it possible for you to consider your alternatives and still aim for the ultimate goal.

Which is what we did. I had been saving (only Hashem knows why) fancy plastic cutlery and dishes. Voila. Let’s set the Seder table with them. (My son rushed out and purchased more- to insure that we wouldn’t be without for the two Sdarim, the one Saturday night, too.) My son also purchased more fresh fruit, because it was clear that baking a cake or treat was not going to work.

And, because Andy was working on the floor in this small kitchen, it meant food preparation space was greatly decreased. (I generally even cover the sink and use that space for logistical reasons- but, not this time.) Some of the vegetable side dishes were omitted- since washing all those vegetables was going to be problematic.

I quickly koshered the utility sink in the basement and began running up and down 14 steps carrying things that needed washing, that needed water, that needed preparation.

We pulled it off. O.K., we were a little late getting started- but only by 20 minutes. Mostly to let everyone change out of their preparation or traveling clothes into holiday garments. And, we had the most wonderful first Seder. Oh, my grandson petered out- probably because of the trip from Philly- and the hustle-bustle of the last minute changes to our routine. But, we finished around 2:30 AM. And, were generally exhilarated from the great discussion and food.

Saturday night was similar. And, while Andy came back to try to put things right (again, thank you, thank you, thank you), his efforts were no better than the king’s men. (Remember- they couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.) So, we changed the menu (no dried fruit stuffing for the Turkey, and the Kosher for Passover rice (yes, Sfardim find their way to such things) filled in- with cardamom, onions, and cinnamon sticks.

And, we started on time. With family and a different set of “family” friends. To yet another Seder. All the while, Roto Rooter was working away in the kitchen. So, for the second night, the hand washing rituals (there are two in each seder) were more akin to the way things were done in olden times. My special hand washing pitcher wasn’t used by each person to wash their own hands, but I poured the water (twice on each hand, per the “rule”) over a plastic garbage can to collect the water. Everyone remarked it gave a great new twist (really, an old twist) to that ritual that made it “more”.

That’s the benefit of plans and preparation. Because when things go wrong, when things around you seem bleak and not conforming to your reality, those contingent actions you considered give you the creativity to find your way to a new plan. Maybe not the one that was written. But to a successful end.

Be a Boy Scout. Be prepared