When we reach a certain age, we wonder to whom and how we will give our possessions.  But, the “Last Will and Testament” should not be our first focus.  We really need a complete plan.

What happens if we become incapacitated?  That means we need a “living will”, also called an “advanced medical directive”.  This is a document that explains what we are willing to have done to us to keep us “alive”.  (And, we each have our own definition of what’s alive.  I don’t want a feeding tube, I don’t want to be able to blink my eyes and not move my limbs- but you have to make the choices that work for you.)

Too many of us don’t want to make those decisions now , thinking we have ‘time’.    Others simply don’t want to make such decisions.  (Like being an ostrich is a sane choice.)

The truth is we may or may not have time.  Too often, we don’t- and our kids (if we have them) and/or our physicians (who may not know us at all, if we end up in a hospital far from home) want to follow OUR wishes.  So, that means we have to make them known.

And, if we don’t have written instructions, you can bet there will be plenty of conflict amongst children and relatives.  (You can be pretty certain there will be conflict and ill will among them even if you do- but they will have to follow your wishes.)

Which brings up something I need to add to this list.  A letter of instruction.  After all, the will may not be read right away, so instructions for where one needs (or wants) to be buried, what the ceremony should entail, who we want to disinvite (don’t worry- TheDonald has no intention to attend our funerals), etc.

Some of you may be allowed to employ cremation- for Christians, it’s a cheap way of disposing of one’s body.  You may also want certain readings or songs.  How will someone know if you don’t tell them?

For Jewish folks like me- it’s a plain wooden box- a pine wooden box, specifically.  (Or, if we are lucky enough to live in Israel, just a kittel – a ritual white gown- and, if we are male [and some females, too] our talit [ritual four-cornered garment with fringes].) And, most Jewish communities have special deals that afford one a  traditional Jewish funeral- at dirt cheap prices.  (I plan to be buried with my fellow congregants.  If my kids and I lived near one another, then a family plot would make sense- but we live far enough apart that the concept no longer applies.  My father’s and mother’s families, though, did have a family plot.)

Know what else would be useful in that letter of instructions?  The passwords to your bank accounts, your credit cards, your stock accounts, your computer, and your smart phone- and where any paper stock certificates may be located.  Oh, yeah- don’t forget your insurance policies’ information- so they can be used to pay for the funeral- and probably the final hospital bills.

I am assuming you already have an advanced medical directive.  This also includes the designation of a proxy- who can make decisions on your behalf.

We also need a durable power of attorney- to afford someone we trust to handle your bills if we are temporarily out of commission.  (My old girlfriend, who went into a coma a decade or so ago, forgot to change her instructions- so her kids had to rely upon my actions, until we could change the system.  She recovered beautifully, by the way.)  Please note this durable power of attorney is all powerful- so be careful who you trust to have such power.

There’s the question of a will or a trust- or both.  If you have little kids, then provisions have to be made to take care of them.  If you have a disabled child, then we need to consider long-term solutions.

Don’t forget that a trust obviates probate- and keeps our estate issues private.  But, if our financial matters are simple, then there is no need to complicate one’s life with a trust.

And, don’t tell me you don’t want to make a will because you can’t decide who gets what. Make the will.  And, then create a personal property memorandum (which can be changed more often) to direct your heirs and divide your property.  (The memo must be a codicil to the will!)

Over the next few days, we’ll cover all these forms and directions.

 

Yeah.  I know those of you who live the USA are probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned “President’s Day”.  (It may actually be “Presidents’ Day”.)   Because I like the real holidays- Washington’s Birthday and Lincoln’s Birthday.  And, because we’ve had some pretty sh…. Presidents Buchanan, Nixon, and the current denizen.  Why would I ever celebrate them?????