I know it’s Valentine’s Day.  (This is about helping our loved ones [and ourselves], I promise.)

I’m going to share some information with you (and provide some directed actions) that will simply be rated M for mature. (No, no porn here- that’s the province of Stormy Daniels, not me.)  And, it’s not only for our senior citizens (like me)- it certainly applies to everyone who has a family. Because we never know.

We could have been on that train on its journey from Vancouver (BC) to Eugene (OR). Oh, wait, it never made it to Eugene, because it derailed near Seattle.

Or, we could have been on Delta 191 from Fort Lauderdale (FL) to LA (CA). Where a never-considered microburst (or a whoosh from the Supreme Being) pushed the plane onto the ground before it reached its intermediate stop in Dallas.

Don’t forget the Terri Schiavo case. At the age of 27, she suffered a massive cardiac arrest. And, while she was, indeed, resuscitated, her brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long and she was rendered to be in a permanent vegetative state. Which led to years of battles as to who was to make the decisions for her continued feeding (sorry- that’s NOT living)  between her husband, her parent, and the courts.

You get the idea. So, we need to have a few documents prepared. Some of which become far more critical when we get older. But, at least two should be in everyone’s arsenal. (Back when gay marriage was outlawed, I made all our gay clients have these up-to-date at all times.  Because the ‘powers-that-be refused to let significant others make decisions or even be in the hospital room.)

The first thing we all need is a Health Care Directive. This is sometimes called a living will.

This document sets the ground rules should we find ourselves the subject of a terrible accident- or if we just were notified we have stage 3 or stage 4 cancer. It answers the question if we are willing to have artificial means keep our brains functional (I don’t consider this being alive), no matter what the prognosis of our condition. It sets out instructions as to who is to pay for our treatment and how that happens.

The Commonwealth of Virginia has a wonderful template that we all can use. (NOTE: The directive expects the documents to have been certified by witnesses.) It addresses who will be the agent- the person in charge, fully empowered to make decisions, should we be unable to make them- on our behalf.

But, it also stipulates what the guidelines for such treatment should be. From artificial respiration to tube feeding, from CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) to the administration of pain medicine.

It provides for this agent to have full access to medical and hospital records and to determine with whom that information can be shared- including the hiring and/or firing of health care practitioners, our release from medical care (even if against medical orders) or to be placed in hospice care, or to be included in a clinical trial.

But, the directive goes further. It stipulates what should happen if medical professionals have determined that our death is imminent- or that no known treatment will aid in our recovery. (Yes, this directive will authorize the agent to “pull the plug”.)

It also stipulates if our bodies will be available for transplantation purposes or even for research or instruction.

No, these are not happy thoughts. But, we need to make our desires known- or we may find ourselves forever connected to a breathing tube that was never to be allowed if we were mentally and physically able to voice our objections. And, to alleviate any guilt our loved ones may have as they make these decisions for us, without knowing what were our choices.

More importantly, if we are single, it makes it possible for the significant other(s) in our lives to be present and actively involved in our health care decisions, without requiring countless court appearances (assuming that is even possible.)

The actual Virginia Advance Directive for Health Care is found here.

The other document we all need to have (once we have children or reach a certain age) is a will.  And, we’ll discuss that tomorrow.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!