I admit it.   I’ve chosen the wrong one.  Not just to marry- but, even to date.

And, I am sure- if you are still single- you are hoping to find the right one with whom to spend the rest of your life.  And,  being the techie that I am, I wonder why there is no formula to determine who that might be…

Well, there may be hope for us yet.  Drs. Bolmont (University of Geneva), Cacioppo and Cacioppo (yes, the last two are married and are from the University of Chicago), may have determined what are the indicators to know if that person consider you the “right one”.  (Sorry, this data does not tell us which is our right one- but our opposite can determine if we unconsciously are telegraphing our feelings….)

It seems that if we are entranced by our ‘beshert’ (go look it up), our gaze is different than when we find someone after whom we lust.  Those of us who are entranced by the being opposite us spend our times examining the face- and especially the eyes- of the person who garnered our affection.  Yes, it’s not a joke- “My face is up here” (and it applies to both genders) is the problem when lust is on the horizon.

Had you clicked on the link above, you would have known this fact- because their publication’s title is “Love is in the Gaze:  An Eye-Tracking Study of Love and Sexual Desire”.  This study was a follow-up to their previous studies that were devoted to brain scans of their subjects.  In those studies (here is but one), they determined that feelings of love are centered in the anterior insula region of the brain, while lust is centered in the posterior portion of the insula.

It seems that concrete sensations and feelings are centered in the posterior regions of our brain’s insula.  These regions also deal with the more immediate functions of the brain.  The anterior insula is more concerned with the abstract or integrative activities of the brain.  (Yes, love may not require sexual feelings and sexual feelings may never lead to love.)

I know what you will be doing when you get home tonight!

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